Into Madness
by speedfanatic05
Summary: “It is when we allow ourselves to delve into madness that things become clear...”
1. Chapter 1

Into Madness

Rating: Teen

Genre: Angst/Drama

Pairing: Horatio/Yelina

Warnings: Violence, Language.

Summary: "It is when we allow ourselves to delve into madness that things become clear..."

Author's Notes: I got the idea while reading from Shining Zephyr's Miami Flowers- 76 Broken. I just thought that there was more to this story, and she agreed and allowed me to use. Thanks, Shiny!

_While conscience is our friend, all is at peace; however once it is offended, farewell to a tranquil mind._

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

_**But for Horatio, this wasn**_'_**t a crime. It was a holocaust. There was no way he was going to be able to become stable during this. He wouldn**__**'**__**t be able to keep his cool when arresting the Hilter who did this. And he most certainly couldn**__**'**__**t process the crime scene in there, knowing he would more than likely here the shrieks of children who begged for the demon lord to stop his destruction.**_

_**Yelina bit her lip as she continued to hold him. Maybe this was the case that would both define and destroy Horatio**__**'**__**s career.**_**..**

From Shining Zephyr's Miami Flowers- Broken

Chapter One

He stood at the precipice once more, the shadows threatening to overwhelm him. Gone were the days of perpetual happiness, now they each came on the whim of darkness, each step he took driving him deeper and deeper into the abyss. It never mattered whether the sun was shining brightly, or the skies were deadened with the oncoming of a cover of gray, Horatio's demeanor never wavered. Not since that fateful day that is. On that day, he lost a bit of himself in the jewelry store, the confidence and the strength waning since the moment Speed had taken his last breath. Where he was supposed to be strong and resilient, he faltered, leaving his partner and colleague to his last sacrifice. It didn't matter that the tests confirmed another reason for the tragedy because despite the malfunction, it would always be his fault, and that guilt was the kind that no one or thing could take away.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped out, automatically slipping on the dark framed glasses that he'd taken to hiding behind now. Under this guise, he could still perpetuate the strength that was needed to carry on, despite the despondency and the doubt, he could , in other's eyes perceive a coolness, a sort of calm that eluded any other emotion. But that perception was altered, because underneath the facade, there was the darkness that threatened. And each day that he strove to protect the streets of his city, that darkness made progress, waiting until the right moment to surface and lay claim.

The ride to the lab was uneventful as it was most days, and the only minutes of peace he had. Some days, he listened to music, others he was accompanied by silence. It was in that silence that he warred with his sensibilities, making great strides to keep the emptiness of the darkness at bay. There were very little fond memories that he could pull to combat this affliction, only the relief that it would be short lived because once he strode through the doors of the lab and donned the next mask in his cache- the unflappable Lieutenant Horatio Caine, there was no more room for the darkness.

On this day, the courageous facade was difficult to attain. He didn't know what was hindering it's arrival, but even as he meandered through the corridors of his lab, he felt something deep within. The disturbance wasn't shouting of the onslaught of trouble, but it was annoyingly making it's presence known. Something was going to happen today, and he couldn't shake the dread that came with the knowledge of that. Even as he looked into the familiar faces of his lab technicians and investigators, he was unsettled. The countless techs that passed his path registered this but said nothing, as it had become par for the norm for him.

The noise became background for him, his mind already a million miles in the direction of his office. With the job came expectations of perfection, and although no one was perfect, there was one who was always putting him to task about his slights. It was the one person he was hoping that he wouldn't see today, the one person he couldn't see today without acting on the deep desires that coursed through him. If he and Rick Stetler crossed paths today, there was no telling how far to the surface his darkness would reach.

"Penny for your thoughts?"came a light voice from behind him. He hadn't realized that he'd stopped at the elevator but had yet to push the button to engage the contraption, lost in his own ponders The sound of the beautiful voice behind him brought about a long dormant smile, crinkling his intense blue eyes as he turned to face her, his heart seemingly palpating to life.

"Not enough of them in the world," he said smoothly, slipping the glasses off of his face. As a rule, he forwent any pretenses with her, knowing that she would see through them all. Years had taught him that Yelina Salas was observant, sometimes to a fault. It was one of the traits that he adored of her, her ability to see what was in front of her no matter disguised or not. Horatio found himself lost in her green eyes, shifting his weight to a more comfortable stance as she pursed her lips and glanced away, shaking her head. He allowed a slight chuckle to escape and relaxed a little more, staring at the floor, "What brings you by this morning, Detective?"

Yelina exhaled and crossed her arms about her chest, her long curly brown tresses threatening to get in her eyes. Horatio fought the desire to reach for a tendril to place it behind her ear and allow his touch to linger, instead meeting her gaze head on. Along with the playfulness, he could see an underlying current. Not giving him berth to inquire she gestured towards the lab, "I came here to give you fair warning, Rick's coming by. He let it slip last night that he was going to drop in before you got here." A hand shot out to stave his questioning, "I have no idea what it's about, but I wanted to give you a heads up."

The smile disappeared at the sound of his name, so familiar on her lips. He never thought he'd see the day that Yelina would give Stetler the time of day , much less allow him into her life, but it had happened, and he was powerless to stop it. He only hoped that Yelina didn't get in too deep with the IAB agent and that she would cease her dealings with him soon. It was one thing to have to deal with Stetler on a professional basis, but an entirely different one to have him impeding on his personal life and those within it.

"I see," was all that he responded with, nodding and directing his attention to his glasses. A brow raised and he then looked up to her, "So, a warning of sorts. I wonder what he has in store for me today?"

"I don't know, Horatio, but you should know that he's still incensed that his request for you to go and see a shrink hasn't been adhered to. He thinks that you should sit and talk to someone about Speedle."

"You can let Rick know, Yelina," he paused before he pressed the button to the elevator and hearing it slide open, " you can let him know that I'll go and talk when I see the need to. Right now, I have work to do, so , if you would excuse me."

Yelina's brow narrowed and her eyes grew in intensity, barely turning to face him, "One day, Horatio you are going to have to let your demons go."

The doors slid shut and her words lingered. The cell at his side buzzed to life as the short ride to his office above the trace lab came to an end. As he reached for the phone, the doors slid open and he came face to face with the dark haired agent, noticing the glint in his eyes. One day he was going to have to let his demons go , but unfortunately, they were going to stay and torment him for just one more day.

Nonchalantly, he strode past the man and asked in an uneffective tone, "What can I do for you , Sergeant? Surely you haven't been waiting for me to arrive just to ruffle my feathers about some departmental policy you dreamt up. And I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet."

"This isn't a social call, Horatio. There's still the matter of you going in for counseling in regards to Speedle. You've put it off long enough, Lieutenant, now it's time to get to it." He stood beside him as he unlocked his office and leaned in closer , "It doesn't look good that you were investigated for police brutality a few months ago, and not just that one occasion."

"That one occasion, I was exonerated, Rick. And the other occasions, were a matter of self defense," Horatio responded, opening the door. His neglected cell came to life again and he ignored it again, instead, walking over to his desk and throwing his keys down. Hearing the man enter into the office, he continued, "I don't need to sit and talk, but thanks for your concern. Will there be anything else, Rick?"

The anger was apparent and the dark haired agent clenched his fist , then let it go, speaking through clenched teeth, " You need to be stopped, Horatio, before you hurt someone, and even then your lap dogs won't be able to get you off. I'm submitting my recommendation for you to be relieved of duty until you fulfill your session with the departmental psychologist."

"Submit away," Horatio intoned indifferently as he sat and swivelled around to his computer, starting it. When the man didn't budge, he threw him a glance, "I asked, will there be anything else, Rick?"

A deafening silence permeated the air as the darker man stared him down. Seething, he turned to walk towards the door, pausing only to turn and face him, briefly to emphasize his point, "You're a menace, Horatio, and you will be stopped. It's only a matter of time before you lose that last ounce of your cool and I will be there to see it happen."

Horatio watched as Rick left, the door closing with some force behind it and shook his head, turning his attention to the paper on his desk. Letting out a strained tuft of air, he spoke aloud, his voice no louder than it had been before, "Stand in line, Rick. Stand in line."

/ Into Madness/

It was perfect. Everything had fallen into place, from the timing to the sounds of their shrieks and cries as he did his work, their crimson colored blood splattering the walls and windows. He knew that they would be secluded , knowing their schedule a head of time was proving to be advantageous. He was able to take his time to perfect his creation of havoc and death, relishing in the horrified cries of their young voices. Even at his leisurely pace, he had to be careful- he wanted his creation to be revealed, but not before the appointed time and as he set in against another young soul, he smiled greedily, revealing in the strong fear, feeding off of it like an animal. And like an animal, he gave them no mercy, laying claim to each of their lives for his purpose. He would be far away before anyone would even think to come and check on them, but by then, his purpose would be met. They would have seen and they would have reacted. His madness would be put out there for the world to see, with promise of more.

/Into Madness/

"I can't believe I'm late, Mr. Sanderson's gonna kill me," the young boy said as he rushed through the dimly lit science hall. He'd awakened a hour and a half late for quiz bowl tryouts, sweating bullets the entire way to the school. Being on the quiz bowl team was going to make or break his chances to get in good with the science teacher, having been the least likely candidate for the team. With his B minus average in class, and his propensity for mayhem, Riley never thought hat Mr. Sanderson would even dream to call him up for the team, but here he was, hurrying to the try outs acting as if each breath before opening the door would be his last.

Rounding the corner to the classroom, he glanced at his watch again and rolled his eyes, sure that he was going to be dismissed from the team. An errant sound caught his attention and he looked up to see the room door ajar, swinging almost lazily. Something coated the floor and splattered the door and he could feel his hairs standing on end. It didn't help that the sun was barely coming through the doors and windows of the science hall, no sign of the impending school day abound. For the life of him, he never knew why the quiz bowl team met an hour before school, but he never questioned their practices because they were the best in the state, so Mr. Sanderson was doing something right.

Slowing his pace, he narrowed his brow, realizing that there was no noise, not even the slightest hint that anyone occupied the room. His heart began to beat faster as he made his way to the door, hesitating at the last moment. A bead of sweat ran down his temple and he wiped at it unconsciously, his attention solely on the door ahead of him astounded that there was still no sound. A coppery stench hit his nostrils and he recoiled, placing a hand to his mouth. Just as he turned to look into the room, the sound of the bell screeching and the kids entering the building couldn't cover the sounds of his yelling, causing everyone to stop in their tracks. Something bad had happened. Very bad.


	2. Chapter 2

Into Madness

Author's Notes: I reference Shining Zephyr's Broken here with her permission, of course, so if something's familiar, that's why.

Warnings: Language

Chapter Two

Chaos. That's what it felt like to him as he stepped out of the Hummer into the soft breeze of the early morning. He was already irritated, thanks in part to an early morning visit from Stetler, but something about walking on to this scene didn't sit well with him. Maybe it was the fact that it was at a high school, or maybe it could be the sheer number of police officers that were on the scene. Whatever it was, it wore on his shoulders like a weighted coat , and he wasn't used to feeling burdens such as this walking onto a fresh scene. It unnerved him greatly and as he walked under the billowing crime scene tape, it only got worse.

He continued to walk up to the stairs of the highschool, aware of the children that were milling behind the tape. A quick glimpse of the crowd gave him the sense that this was something of a horrible nature, the fear and sorrow etched upon everyone of their faces palpable. It wasn't that all murders weren't horrible, but there was something about the feel of this atmosphere that seeped into him, scratching at the containment of the darkness that dwelled within him.

Grateful to meet up with Detective Tripp, Horatio turned away from the grieving crowd and focused on the entrance to the school, the emptied building having an eerie feeling. Crinkling his brow, he left the glasses on and placed his hands on his hips, peering into the hollowed halls. His body reacted to the sense of foreboding that coursed through him, shuddering slightly as he peeled his eyes away from the entrance. That had never happened to him before and it added to offset his demeanor even more.

"Murder in a high school, how...novel," Horatio stated grimly as Frank slipped out his pad. Giving the crowd a quick perusal, he then retained his focus on the lumbering Texan, "None of the parents have been notified yet, Frank?"

"The principal's on that right now, but being that the school has been sealed , he's had a hard way about it. It's going to take time, Horatio." He flipped back a page on and exhaled heavily , scratching at his head as he continued, " A young man, Riley Jenkins discovered the bodies at about seven this morning. From what I could gather from him, he was late to a quiz bowl team meeting. Now why kids are at school an hour before time is beyond me, but he said that they always met that way."

"Familiarity is a criminal's best asset, Frank," Horatio responded, taking a step forward. It was now time to get down to the business at hand. He would survey the scene for himself and then call out his team. "You said bodies, Frank."

"Yeah, thirty at last count. It's gruesome as hell in there, Horatio. I couldn't stand to be in there for no longer than to see for myself. I don't know how you are gonna do it."

"We've all seen horrible scenes, it's the nature of the job, Detective."

"There's nothing natural about this, Horatio," Frank responded as he led him in the building. Horatio followed, seeing yet more officers, no doubt canvassing the school, hopefully leading to clues as to what happened. Frank pointed him in the way he should go, telling him , "I've got to start canvassing the teachers. Apparently, John Sanderson, the quiz bowl coach and teacher wasn't among the dead. It was only the bodies of the children."

The words hit him hard and he shifted his gaze to the ground sighing heavily. Any crime perpetrated against innocents was abhorred by him, and he held no sympathy for the criminal who found themselves within his custody, but a senseless act such as this, the slaughter of thirty innocent children, the thought alone drove a spike of disgust to his very core, chipping at the darkness. With each step towards the primary scene, he felt as if the crevice was getting wider, that he was being forced to look into the darkness he tried to remain far away from.

"Alright, Frank. I'll be on my cell," Horatio said as he continued forth. At the door way of the room in question, he saw her lingering, her eyes portraying the disbelief of this act along with the deep sadness at the loss of life. Allowing himself that one second to feel, his gaze softened and his heart hurt for what her eyes saw, the eyes of a mother looking into what would be hell for the souls that had been lost. He caught her as she turned away from the door, running her hands through her long hair, her eyes closing as if to wash the images away. Her head shook minutely as she put distance between the doors and herself, crossing her arms and looking heavenward as if searching for the answers.

"Detective," he said softly , garnering her attention. Instantly, the glasses were off and he looked to her to see the brunt of her emotions, each one stabbing at him. A silence ran between them and he continued to stare at her as she shook her head and wiped at her eyes , catching the tears before they'd gain potential. It was essential for them as protectors of this city to remain steadfast, allowing no room for feeling, but he could see that it wasn't as easy as others would have led to believe.

"It makes no sense, Horatio," she started, her accented voice harboring the confusion and pain. "What makes a person do something like this?"

Horatio glanced at the door seeing the splatters of blood, along with a blood pool and exhaled heavily, "There is no reasoning with murder, Yelina. It is a senseless act."

"He played in their blood, Horatio. Reveled in their pain," she remarked disgustedly. "You can't imagine...you won't be able to stand it..."

"I'm here to do a job, Yelina. Find the clues, catch the killer," he generalized.

"You make it so cut and dry, Horatio. I fear that you don't understand the magnitude of what's happened here. I didn't think it's a good idea for you to come. I told them as much when the call was made." She'd known the extent of his sorrows, his guilt, and she feared that it would submerge him even further into the deep abyss that he was treading over. "It's beyond the reach of understanding why this happened."

"That's what I'm here for, " he said as he set his sights to the door and moving towards it. He kept his eyes down , lifting them briefly to acknowledge the uniform at the door, then to the contents of the room. For a split second, he felt as if he'd stepped into hell. There was a profusion of blood and disarray, the desks strewn about as if they'd ran from their tormentor. A quick sweep of the room told him that there was no way out for them, the only entrance and exit was where he stood.

As his eyes took in the destruction, his stomach began to turn, the violence set against these poor souls beginning to weigh heavily upon him. His shoulders sagged as he closed his eyes against the mangled and bloodied bodies, searing their images on his brain forever. Taking a hesitant step back, he felt the sorrow well up inside of him, giving berth for the darkness to begin it's journey to the surface. As much as he was disgusted, so was he angered. Innocents had been made a mockery here, evidence of play in their blood in the smears left on the walls. Yelina was right, he reveled in their pain.

He couldn't stand it any longer. He had to move, but his body wasn't cooperating with his mind. Each second he stood in the presence of the carnage was a second lost to the darkness. Forcing himself to turn, he walked out, taking deep gulps of air, smelling the copper tinged scent of the blood as if it had attached to him. Now out of the room, he could still see their bodies, mangled beyond belief, and now sounds accompanied them. He could imagine the terrified screams and shrieks of the children when they began to realize that their fate was sealed in one fateful moment. Putting a hand to his forehead, he could feel the sweat as it started and he launched his body forward. When he opened his eyes, his sight was blurred with the onset of the powerful wave of emotion. he saw her, shaking her head and coming to him, her brow knit. Taking him to a private area out of sight from everyone else, she held him close.

"It's terrible, isn't it?" she whispered.

He sniffled. "T-the bodies… so many of them…"

"I couldn't even go in there for as long as you." Her hand stroked his hair, shaking her head and swallowing. "Who kills thirty children and acts as if nothing has happened?"

Horatio couldn't answer, his sobs beginning to take over him. For as long as he had done this and as many horrific scenes he'd processed, this one was the worst. With his eyes closed, he saw the bodies again and again, hearing their terrified screams fading in and out, and even imagined the blood being painted on the walls. Whoever had done this savagery was relentless, with no respect for life or person. The feeling of her warm body wasn't enough to stave the darkness as it began to pour over him, the sorrow and pain beginning to turn over into hatred and disgust readily. It filled the void left by the sight of the children, grasping hold of him. Even as he continued to sob, he was changing, and he could feel it. Once the sorrow had receded, the fury would take it's place, and God help anyone who had anything to do with it, because now, Horatio had finally fallen into the dark precipice that had taunted him for so long.

/Into Madness/

Word had spread fast through the lab about the massacre at the high school and it was all Calleigh needed to jump into gear, making it to the scene in record time. She hadn't seen Eric nor Ryan in the process, but already knew that Horatio was the first CSI on scene, having gotten his call out personally. On her way out, she bumped into Alexx, seeing the sadness etched in the Medical Examiner's eyes. The expression confounded Calleigh- for someone who saw death, and sometimes grisly ones, on a daily basis, Alexx was approaching this as if one of their own had been one of the fallen. As quickly as she had bumped into Alexx, the woman was gone, leaving in her wake the connotation of the seriousness of the matter, a feeling that Calleigh couldn't easily shake, even as she arrived at the scene, telling herself that like everything, this was a job and she was going to do it to the best of her ability.

Glancing to her right, she saw the plethora of coroner's vans sitting in a perfect line along with several ambulances despite the fact that they wouldn't be here to aid , but merely for transportation for the dead. Shaking her head ruefully, she recalled Alexx's expression in the corridor, musing that she had been enroute to the scene, and was probably already in there assessing the damage.

Looking around more, Calleigh saw that the block was lined with radio cars and uniforms that milled about the crowd. For the most part, it had dispersed, leaving only a few mourners whose parents hadn't come to get them . Usually these faces would be lit at the mention of a school closing, but not at this price. Not at the price of thirty lost lives.

Once through the tape, Calleigh proceeded through down the corridor, following the line of uniforms posted through out the halls acting as beacons to lead the way. Coming to a solitary hall, she could instantly feel the change in the atmosphere, the heaviness now more prevalent here. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she put one foot in front of the other and proceeded on. Slowly walking, the blood was the first thing that caught her eye; the splatter on the door was already beginning to dry and the still wet blood pool on the floor painted a macabre picture against the stark floors, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. She could hear the cameras clicking in rapid succession followed by the sporadic flashes. To set the eerie tone even more, the lack of sound unnerved her and the stench of blood met her nostrils, taking her very breath away. Gathering herself, she exhaled heavily and turned to enter the unknown.

"It's not like I haven't seen blood before," she said aloud, her voice seemingly ominous in the silence. Annoyed with herself, she shook her head and started again, only to run into Eric as he exited the room, his expression drawn. The usual light in the Russian Cuban's eyes was markedly absent, his warm and approachable demeanor gone. Instantly, she could see that this was unlike any other scene and she reached out to touch him, watching as he withdrew from her. "Is it that bad, Eric?"

Eric turned to her, his gaze laden with sorrow almost unable to meet her eyes. Emotion welled and he breathed out heavily, shaking his head in a gesture that was reticent of deep despair as if he were physcially connected to someone who was in there. This had clearly hit him hard.

"It's worse," was all he responded with, his voice grave and thick with what Calleigh would characterize as tears, his eyes crinkling in disbelief. "All those kids..."

"I heard there were thirty and the coach was still missing. Is there any idea where he could be?"

Glancing at the door, he shook his head, "Tripp is canvassing the faculty, but so far, nothing's turned up. I've been trying to print the room, but the blood..."

Calleigh nodded, her eyes drifting to the blood pool then back to him, "Have the ME's begun to move the bodies out?"

"Alexx is in there with just about everyone. When she finishes one body, she moves on to the next. Most of the bodies are bagged to be processed at the morgue, Horatio's called in the second shift already. Doesn't look like it's going to be an early night tonight."

She shifted her weight, the effect of his tone of voice making her uneasy with anticipation. She was eager to get to work, yet dreading taking that first glimpse. Maintaining her focus, she asked, "Have you seen Horatio? I didn't see his Hummer."

"He was here when I got here, then he...left." Eric's voice was so detached, it pained Calleigh to listen, her brow crinkling as she looked away from him. The more she stayed in his presence, the more her confidence dwindled. Eric stood stock still and continued, "Can't blame him though, this is one scene I could do without. He didn't seem right though."

Calleigh crinkled her eyes and shook her head in confusion, " What do you mean, he didn't seem right?"

"He was the first CSI on scene, he stood in that room for over five minutes. I'm sure that this has affected him." Eric narrowed his brow as he glanced down at the ground, "I'm trying to forget what I saw, even as I know I have to use it. Calleigh...it was so ..."

"Horrific," he said from behind them. His voice lacked any hints of warmth, or even normalcy as they turned to face him. The sunglasses, even though he was indoors, were firmly in place, his gaze drifting towards the door. The anger threatened to surface as he kept his sights on the door, the images flashing in his mind in rapid succession. Shaking inwardly, he reminded himself that there was a job to do, and he had to remain focused. That was a fact of contention however, because every time he looked to the door, the anger coaxed the darkness closer to the surface, and he could feel himself delving deeper. Suddenly, it became more than just finding this monster. Now it was about retribution. Despite the dangerous emotions swirling through him, he maintained composure, " The teacher still hasn't been found, I want to know why these kids were here alone. Eric, have you come up with any prints to run yet?"

"Not yet, H. I had to take a breather from it all," Eric responded quietly. He could feel it simmering in the air, the discourse that surrounded his boss and colleague. "I'll start back in a minute."

"We don't have a minute. Each minute you take a breather, that goddamned monster's walking the streets," Horatio answered back sharply. Clenching his fists, he turned his sights on Calleigh, "Have you found anything in the manner of a weapon?"

"I just got to the scene, Horatio," Calleigh countered quickly. Narrowing her brow, she furthered, "Are you okay, Horatio?"

"Take a look at the bodies in there and tell me if I'm okay, Calleigh." He could feel himself slipping even more, the anger becoming more viable, fueling him. " While we're shooting the breeze, a man....an animal," he grated seethingly, " an animal is out prowling for more prey. I would hope that we would want to work diligently to find this bastard and put him away."

"I had to take a break, Horatio," Eric expressed, his features hardening. His own fists clenched and then relaxed, seeing , for the first time, the cool exterior melting away. Even on their worst scenes, he'd never seen Horatio react like this. Something had clicked within the red head, and Eric could see that it was only the beginning. This wasn't going to go away easily. "Just give me a second to breathe."

"Take your second, Delko. And whenever you're ready , Calleigh. There's a room full of dead teenagers ready to be processed, at your leisure, of course." The acidity of his words hit Calleigh and she stared at him , incensed, but Horatio didn't care. The only thing that mattered was catching the son of a bitch and making him pay. By any means necessary.


	3. Chapter 3

Into Madness

Rating: M

Warnings: Language, descriptions of violence

Chapter 3

Hours had lagged by and the evidence was being processed slowly as it rolled in from the scene. Horatio had found that he couldn't linger there, not with his emotions in such turmoil. He couldn't be objective or even reasonable, realizing that if he had stayed, he'd be hindering the investigators from doing the job that they were trained to do. He would've hovered, barked orders, been anxious to have even the tiniest pieces of evidence brought to him before being sealed, just so he could quell the dark , foreboding that was swelling inside of him. If he would've stayed, he would've put undue pressure on them; they didn't need to be micro managed or prodded into producing results at in humane speeds, instead they needed the berth to do what they were best at and that is why he chose to take himself away from the situation.

The scene was horrific, and that alone would've required time and understanding to get through, not to mention the wealth of evidence that it now yielded. Evidence, however, wasn't the only factor now. Time had become essential and it was fleeting ,heaving even more pressure on his shoulders, pressure that was now taking it's toll on his relationships with his colleagues as well. Because of the time constraint , Horatio had demanded excellence even in the face of repulsion. He was asking for their all, while giving them nothing in return. He'd been cold and indifferent to them, something he'd never done, and expected them to just deal with it and produce. Even in the worst of times, he'd never snapped as he had at them, and as he now walked through the corridors of the morgue he felt reticent of his treatment of them. When he could, he'd offer an apology , but at the moment, he had nothing to give. His confidence was not where it should be and for the first time in his long career, he questioned whether he could effectively chase this monster. In another first, he'd lost that certainty and it was dangerous given that now, Horatio's emotions flitted between unadulterated rage and soul searing sorrow, either one capable of destroying everything in it's path. He had to walk softly over the now treacherous terrain of the unknown.

Pushing through the double doors, Horatio was met with the sight of several covered bodies with more lining the walls. The silence of this room taunted him, the deep sorrow and pain now battling with the dimming rage he'd unleashed hours before. Now, he was subdued and the tremendous loss that was now facing him as he made his way through to the autopsy theater ate at him significantly. The task he now took up would be the hardest to cope with: the revelation of what had happened to each of these innocents. Taking his last step before pushing through the second set of double doors, he pondered on if he could take this mantle.

She stood before the slab, encased in even more silence, doing what she did best. Even though Alex was , by far, the best medical examiner he'd ever had the honor to work with, he knew that this was going to be hard on her as well. She had thirty lifeless corpses to deal with, but to her, they were more than just shells, they were lives cut away too soon, each bearing a name, an essence. Knowing Alexx and the way she worked, he knew that she couldn't let each one go with the conclusion of her work, she'd become too involved and it would weigh on her heavily, especially with her proclivity to speak to the dead, furthering her ties. She played a dangerous game as well, anchoring herself to each one on a personal level and just like with Horatio, it would all ,one day, take it's toll.

He came before her, slipping on a pair of gloves and gazed upon her, seeing the very effects of this playing across her features. Her smoky eyes welled but the tears never found potential to fall as her visage hovered between disgust and the unattainable sorrow to pain at the thought of what had befallen the victim before her. He watched on in muted grief as she stripped down to the essence of what had happened, bearing it all now for everyone to see.

"This...animal had no mercy, Horatio," she said suddenly, keeping her eyes on the body. Her brow furrowed deeply and continued on, briefly looking up to see the same sorrow only magnified in his intense blue eyes. This was hard for her, but , she surmised that Horatio was navigating a worse hell than she.

"What happened to them, Alexx?" he questioned, his own gaze now situated on the body. Her hands worked efficiently and rapidly, but still careful. Even though she was a Medical Examiner, she revered life and the chance to be a voice for those lost.

"The majority of them were savagely lacerated, exsanguination being the cause of death, but there were a few of them that were brutalized even more. Not only were they slashed at, Horatio, but there were things missing. One girl had her tongue cut out, another, her eyes missing. A boy was castrated, his genitalia found in his mouth and there were two that were almost clean of cuts, but were held evidence of a sexual assault, a boy and a girl. I did a rape kit for them," Alexx said gesturing to towards the two bodies that were shrouded and in seclusion. "It seemed as if he favored them the most."

The anger burst through without hesitation and he closed his eyes, clenching his fists tightly. He fought for composure, knowing that he would have to speak to get more information, but everything he was doing in that attempt was failing. The images now were amended , the horrors now amplified. He now knew of the manner they died, and the desire to avenge seared through him.

"How...how do you know it was a man?" he bit out, trying vainly to temper his rage. It wouldn't do for him to unleash it here or against her.

"Horatio, are you okay?" Alexx asked now fearing for her friend. His eyes had darkened and a fierce scowl had replaced the aching, despaired gaze of before. She could feel the rage building. "Do you need a moment?"

"How do you know it was a man?" he asked again, his voice now straining to remain composed. He glared at the ME for her audacity to ask such a question and scowled further, "Alexx... how do you know it was a goddamned man?"

She stopped working completely , her eyes riveted to him, her voice now small and stumbling, "I- It's a theory , Horatio. Rage like this...the manner of carnage..."

"When you can give me a concrete answer, Doctor, be sure and let me know," he replied coldly, his voice hardened. He saw her expression of disbelief and disappointment, but didn't care. This monster had mutilated and dishonored the victims and Horatio was finding it hard to maintain reasoning.

"I took samples, sent them to DNA," Alexx said, her brow now raising denoting the sadness. Adverting her eyes, she shook her head and sighed, "I found what could be biologicals on most of the bodies."

"Biologicals?" he questioned, his voice deadly.

"Yes, it seems that our murderer ejaculated over his victims."

That was it. Something snapped inside of Horatio and he peeled the gloves off, possessing enough reasoning to get away from Alexx before he did something more that he would regret. Wordlessly, he turned from her, his eyes set against his escape. He had to leave before he wrought destruction. Walking purposefully , the words spoken by her now coupled with the violent images bombarded him, his head now filling. Anger had returned with a vengeance, killing the sorrow in a brutal manner and threatened anyone in his path. He had to find solitude, and he had to find it fast.

With his mind mired in disgust and unrepentant rage, Horatio pushed through the doors blindly, running into a body in motion. When he recovered, he looked to see him straightening himself, his dark eyes set in annoyance.

_Stetler_, Horatio thought darkly as his lips peeled away from his teeth sinisterly, _perfect timing_.

"Horatio, just the man I needed to see," Stetler said smugly. He smirked and narrowed his eyes , inching forward as if pouncing on a kill. "There have been reports , Horatio, that you're toting the line. Conduct unbecoming, that's so unlike you."

_Keep coming, keep talking_, Horatio coaxed silently, clenching his fists. The darkness prodded to be unleashed and he took a measured step forward, savoring the moment to satiate its demands. Despite the fury , his voice remained calm, "Do you really want to do this now, Rick? There are far more pressing things to deal with."

"Which is exactly why I wanted to see you, You're starting to slip and suddenly, I question your ability to head this investigation. I think," Rick said coming face to face with him, keeping the smirk, "I think you're unfit to do this. And once I prove that, you'll be out of here. Then, I'll have everything that you wanted, the job and the woman."

Tilting his head and smiling dangerously, he spoke quietly, "You've picked the wrong day, Rick to try my patience."

"It must bite that you're losing everything, doesn't it , Horatio? To know that you couldn't save any of it," he taunted. Rick knew he was courting his wrath, but still pushed, "To know that she screams my name in her bed must really get to you."

Red covered his vision and he reacted swiftly, taking Rick by the collar of his shirt and planting him to the wall. The corridor was empty , devoid of any prying eyes as he beared down on Rick's throat, speaking through clenched teeth, "You chose to do this now, Rick? Now when we have thirty dead teenagers in there? You taunt me with Yelina? That's just bad form, Rick." Leaning into him, he could hear the darker haired man struggle to breathe, allowing just enough to keep him conscious. He wanted him to see it in his eyes, the potential of what could be. "I'll tell you what, Rick, you stop this shit now, and I won't go to your supervisors about _your _conduct. You didn't think that I saw her before? You didn't think that I would see the bruises? Remember I told you if you touched her again, I'd kill you? Suddenly, I don't need that type of provocation, Rick."

"You won't kill me, Horatio," he forced while struggling to breathe.

"Try me," Horatio rasped, reeling in his anger. Just as he let up, he felt a slight touch on his shoulder. He'd know that touch anywhere.

"Let him go, Horatio," she said softly, her accent catching on his name. She gripped his shoulder tighter, " You don't want to do this."

"Don't I , Yelina?"Horatio asked, glaring at Stetler. He found amusement in his now reddened face, struggling for air. "Don't I?"

"No, you don't. You want to find the man responsible for this,"Yelina said, the pleading heard in her voice. She could sense that Horatio was at the point of no return, leaning into him more, "Don't do this, Horatio. You'll become no better than him."

Her voice, beseeching him caused him to loosen his grip, her scent turning him more to her. He heard Stetler gasp, but paid no attention, the anger filtering into sadness once more. "Why, Yelina?"

Knowing the connotation of the question, she answered simply, "Because, it's less complicated. I can handle this, Horatio."

"He was willing, where I am...hesitant," Horatio said , deflated. The anger had left him desolate in his sorrow, it intensifying as he gazed upon her. His heart, broken many times before for her , did so once more.

"It's less complicated for the moment," Yelina responded, shaking her head, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I would hope that this won't last between us, Horatio. Changes are coming."

"Changes?" Rick croaked incredously , rubbing his neck.

"Yes, changes. And if you know what's good for you, Rick, you'll forget this happened. Remember, I know your secrets and what you've done." Instantly, he was silenced and began to retreat; he knew when he was bested.

When he was gone, she retained her focus on Horatio, seeing the turmoil deep seated in his eyes. Her own crinkled as she approached him more, her hand held out towards him, "Horatio, let someone take over. This is eating you alive."

"I can't , Yelina. Not when he's still out there," he explained warily. Now that the adrenaline was gone, he felt weakened. "I have to finish this."

Yelina gave him a wistful smile, reaching for his cheek, "Always the protector. Please be careful, Horatio."

He nodded once and stepped out of her touch, simply replying as he turned from her, "You too."

Yelina watched as he disappeared down the corridor, a coldness creeping over her. What she'd seen in his eyes scared her and now propelled her forward, her heels clicking on the tile incessantly in her bid to catch up with him. She wasn't going to let him be alone, not when he so desperately needed respite from it all.

/Into Madness/

Processing the last of the fingerprints, Eric sighed heavily as he glanced at the clock. He'd been at this for almost five hours straight, the mandate and his own desires fueling him. In the light of so much destruction and despair, he kept at it, thinking that if he got just one hit off of AFIS, it would make a difference. They would have a face to chase instead of their imaging of the beast that had wrought so much pain. His work was already meticulous enough as it was, but because of the volume of blood, he had to be especially careful, finding multiple prints on all of the surfaces of the room. Through a lengthy trial and error, he was able to identify most of them and even put a name to them, but there were a few that were not so lucky. The prints were pristine, but no names came back, none that he could use anyway. Most were of the victims, and other students that used the room, none with priors. Oddly, what was missing , however, were the prints of the missing teacher. His were nowhere to be found.

Exhaling heavily, he glanced to the screen to see it filtering through another cycle, noting that the print was harvested from one of the victim's imprinted in blood on the forearms. There were many other prints of this nature, but they all came back with nothing. He grouped them together, fully ready to go the next step and identify manually to make sure they were from the same person, another arduous task that would take up his time. He'd given up the thought of going home, much less to bed, in favor of seeing this one through.

The sound of the computer stopping drew his attention and he saw a profile come up, narrowing in on the listing. Hitting print, he smiled and then picked up the phone, calling Horatio. He waited for the red haired lieutenant to pick up, but when he didn't, he put the phone down and gathered his work, and settling in under an magnifying glass. If it took him all night, he would have workable suspects before daybreak.


	4. Chapter 4

Into Madness

Author's Note: Because of the extreme lateness of this story and the fact that my muse is temporarily out of the building, I've decided to shorten this story. Tremendously. Of course, there will be more from me, but right now, I've got to put this one to rest. Thanks to those who have read and reviewed!

Chapter 4

Exhausted. It was what he was, what he had been for years on end, but for some reason, tonight it was worst. Tonight , not only did his burden feel heavy, but also his heart and soul. The day had passed in a flurry of emotions ; fear, disgust, sorrow, loathing, even fury had made it's perch on him at one time or another. But just like any other day, he kept moving, thinking that it would just peel away once he walked out of the lab doors. He couldn't fathom how wrong he was.

As soon as he passed through the threshold of the lab, he could feel the heaviness assault him even more. Every blink put him back at the scene of the most gruesome crime he'd ever seen before in his life, every thought in the morgue learning of each poor soul's demise. Every waking second since coming back from the high school had been entrenched in darkness, and unfortunately, just unloading onto Stetlerhadn't been enough. The darkness had become an integral part of him, fueling him now more so than ever, and he wasn't attempting to push it back. He allowed it to settle within him to breathe in the same air, to ponder over the images, the discussions, even his internal musings over the past twelvehours. It was gaining power, momentum, and Horatio feared that he would be powerless to stop it when the time came. It was for that very reason he'd sequestered himself away from everyone for the rest of the evening, instructing them to email him inquiries, reports and updates, promising that he would receive them. He just couldn't trust himself at the moment, and solitude was what he craved, and what he needed.

Turning the lumbering Hummer onto a darkened stretch of beach, Horatio parked and then sat as the engine idled , his gaze affixed on the now darkened horizon. There was an immediate comfort in the darkness that enveloped him here; here he could allow the unattainable reach potential. After a few more seconds of gazing out, he finally turned the engine off and opened the door, his wearied frame practically spilling from the vehicle. He'd never felt so beat before, always, he had a contingency plan, a way to circumvent what was taking a hold of him now, but with it being breached with Speed's death, he was unsure if he could control the despair that was equal part in the darkness.

_Why control it?_ he thought as he stood next to the Hummer. _Let it take over, let it cleanse you. _

"I can't," he whispered desperately as he began to tread towards the surf, the ominous sounds of the waves crashing against the sand , deafening. There was a storm brewing out in the Atlantic, and deep within him as well, and he was, for the first time in a long time, afraid of what might come of it.

Coming to the edge of the water, he kept his eyes on the darkened skies, the sea breeze now whipping un mercifully against him. As cooling and refreshing as it ought to havebeen, Horatio still felt the oppressive pull on him, dragging him down even more. He came here for reflection, often finding his answers in the tranquility and serenity of the waves, but as they churned, so did he, and he was getting more and more furious that there was no answers forthcoming.

"Why was I chosen to endure this," he questioned aloud. Never did he presume to get an answer audibly, it was always some type of sensibility that answered him back satisfactorily. That sensibility was awkwardly missing. "Wasn't losing Speed enough? Losing Yelina? What more do I have to lose before it's enough?" That answer he knew , however, because today , he'd lost a little bit of faith in the human nature, something that he knew wasn't going to come back. Experiences like this changes a man, and he was feeling the change deeply.

His hands went to his hips and he bowed his head, shaking it woefully. Every victim he crossed paths with anchored onto his shoulders, he felt responsible, and now thirty sat on his weakening frame. Maybe Stetler was right, maybe he wasn't the right person to lead this charge, and as much as it struck him as odd that he was agreeing with the IAB agent, there was a calmness to this revelation. Another option had just presented itself. For years, he'd been the protector of Miami, now, he was considering relinquishing that title...and that responsibility.

/Into Madness/

_Where is he? _she thought as she began to ascend the stairs of the lab towards his office, but stopping mid stride when she noticed it was darkened. It was his usual refuge when things became complicated or heavy, and it was where she was expecting him to be. Quirking her brow, she glanced at her watch , then turned back, descending the stairs with a sort of hesitancy. Earlier, she had witnessed just how far gone he was, and now, she was concerned.

Flipping out her cell, she depressed the button and placed it to her ear, running her hand through her hair as she expected, his voice mail connected. With her eyes closed, she spoke, befuddled at his absence, " Horatio, it's me...I'm concerned and worried. Call me." Before she could slip the phone back into it's cradle on her hip, it rang and with an urgency she'd never felt before, she answered it, praying to hear his gentle tone. Instead, she heard his voice and exhaled harshly as she rolled her eyes, "What is it , Rick?"

"Have you found him yet, Yelina?" Rick asked as he paced his office. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he shook his head and chuckled mirthlessly, " You're so predictable...off to find him and console him, assuage his guilt?"

Her brow narrowed and she felt the irritation building steadily. To this day, she never knew why she had allowed Stetler into her home or bed, but it was a decision she was constantly regretting. Her entire expression crinkled and she began walking again, passing the labs that were at this time of night, usually barely filled, but on this night, they were teeming with lab techs and investigators. The case had all hands on deck.

"He needs someone to talk to, Rick. You weren't there, you didn't see what he saw," Yelina countered almost defensively.

"He has a job to uphold, Yelina," Rick reminded, a bit of force tinting his words. "And if he can't do it, he needs to shove off."

"Rick..."

"He hasn't checked up on his team in hours, I can hear the lab techs talking about having to email reports...Yelina, the man is skirting his responsibilities. We can't afford that right now."

"You don't understand, Rick," Yelina exasperated, glancing at her watch again. Wrinkling her brow, she shook her head, the irritation starting to wear on her, "How about we try and find the animal who killed all those kids instead of trying to hang a decorated, loyal officer out to dry, Rick?"

Rick cringed and then rubbed his eyes hard, "You'll always go to bat for him, Yelina. Even if he is wrong, you'll always be there to support him."

At the sight before her, Yelina stopped walking, her eyes taking in his haggard appearance. What used to be the one thing that set Horatio apart from the rest was now dull, and she could see it readily. The luster of determination was gone, as was his steady gait, now hesitant and unsure. As he came closer, she could see the full brunt of the day in his now dull blue eyes, his shock of red hair now curiously less of a shock and mussed. What she saw before her now was a man who had given up.

"Horatio?" she questioned quietly as he passed by as if she weren't standing there in the first place. He continued to move in that hesitant gait that she was steadily beginning to despise and started up the stairs, leaving both her in his wake. The Columbian beauty folded her phone down, anxiously cutting Stetler off from her inquiry knowing that he would retain a certain amount glee in his dark eyes, barely able to suppress the devious grin that she knew was setting up shop on his visage. This was certainly something he had wanted for a very long time, to see Horatio broken, and it was something Yelina was trying desperately to keep away from him.

At the moment, however, Horatio was more of a concern than that of Rick's backstabbing and she chose to start off after him, catching him by the arm as they both reached the platform. She turned him quickly and stared into the dull abyss that had become his eyes and sighed, her brow crinkling in confusion, " Horatio, what's...what's going on?"

Horatio turned to her slowly and then back to the office door, his head now hanging. After coming to the finality of his fate, he decided to come back to the office instead of the darkened halls of his home. For some reason, the lab felt more like a home to him than the one he'd worked so hard for, and now, he was starting to feel the regret surge through him. In his effort to keep the city safe on his watch , he lost a great deal of himself in the process.

"I'm not strong enough anymore, Yelina," he said, his voice barely a whisper. He kept his head down, feeling her hazel green orbs on him, perusing the state he was in now. It had to be surreal for her to see him in such a state; in the past, he exuded nothing but strength, even in the face of despair. But now, he just simply didn't have the will to put up the facade any longer. "I can't do this any longer."

Stunned, Yelina arched her brow, shaking her head in disbelief. Was this Horatio Caine, sworn protector of the innocent of Miami, now speaking of defeat? Never in all her years of knowing him had she heard the downtrodden tone he now possessed, and as much as it shocked her, it also annoyed her. Her expression changed rapidly as she stepped forward more, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Horatio, you're...you're giving up? After everything that's happened..."

"It's too much for one to bear, Yelina. The burden of the city, the loss. It's taken all it can from me." As if to emphasize the point, he looked to her, his eyes still dull and sad, a small wistful smile coming slowly, "There's nothing left of me to give."

The silence that followed was full of potential, but Yelina couldn't find it in her to move one inch when he opened the door to his office and entered in. Neither speaking nor closing the door, Horatio passed through the threshold, the sounds of his shoes clicking slowly on the floor echoed in the vast vacuum that had been made by his admittance.

She watched from the door way as he stood at his desk, his eye drifting over what was there. She could see him smiling lightly at the pictures that were there: many of his team of old, his brother, and one of Yelina , Ray Jr, and Raymond, surrounded by Christmas decorations, their smiles only a preclude to what lain ahead. He picked up a picture and shook his head, the grief now very evident in his actions. He was broken in every sense of the word, and Yelina could tell that there was no coming back from this.

Horatio was done, there were no heroics left in him and now he was going to try and find a way to deal with the ghosts that had followed him through the years. Starting with his own.

Fin


End file.
